2nd week of May, 2006
Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Don’t Read Maps
by Allan and Barbara Pease
Wanted to understand why you behave or think in a certain way, which may or may not be socially acceptable if done in public? Wanted to improve your relationship, or just want to increase awareness of the opposite sex? Then this book is for you.
I found it interesting, and consoling to myself, why sometimes I acted something like this or like that. A major lesson that I learned is that, in general, MEN CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME which is most of the reason why that usually men seem not to listen. The reason for this is that men’s brain are compartmentalized and specialized and hence can only do one at a time. For example, if we read newspaper, it was showned by brain scan that we are generally deaf, as we focus all our energies on the one thing that we do, reading the news. Which may probably explain why, every time I attempted to do multi-tasking, I ended finishing nothing at all (just like now, instead of doing my powerpoint report, im doing this blog - which I promised to do since eternity and now was the only time hehehe).
Secondly, men tend to talk silently to themselves, while woman think aloud. So for women out there, in general, yes, in general (NOT ALL), if your man is silent, he is not angry nor discontended, but just thinking. Plain and simple. However, men should understand, the authors argued, that the moment a women became silent, a trouble is brewing on. This is because WOMEN generally THINK ALOUND and once they clam up, it means they are hurt and are very upset.
Women on the other hand can SPEAK and LISTEN simultaneously, which mean they can talk about different topic at the same time, without losing track of the discussion. They also tend to talk more if they have problem. The authors suggest, that a man should just listen and dont offer any solution as most of the time they only want to release their sentiments.
There is two points that I would like to emphasized in here. First is the fact that once a person is stressed (i mean very very stressed), He usually clam up, She talks. But She needs someone to listen to her, while He need to be alone. So in most case, conflict arise because of difference in how we settle our problems. If we just understand this, the more we can improve our understanding of each other.
Second, men generally tend to offer solution, which the women doesnt want because they only need to talk. So, if she is talking, just listen, dont offer solution. If it is the man’s turn to speak, the woman should listen and don’t interrupt. Remember that a man cannot listen and speak at the same time, he either stop talking to listen or don’t listen (shhh man can only do one thing at a time).
Other advices are also interesting, including improving relationship and sex life. One thing certain is that giving chocolates, fresh flowers, and champagne can encourage her (hehehe). Chocolates have phenylethylamine which stimulate the woman’s love center (you dont need to be a rocket scientist to rememeber that… I dont remember too but just the love center men!), champagne increase the testosterone level, and fresh flowers show how romantic you are (and because it dies later, then it offer another opportunity to be romantic by giving fresh flowers and so on and so forth.
Which give me to my last part, why women cannot read map (Hey I dont too). They generally have low testosterone level, which is associated with spatial memory. Those with high testosterone can read maps better, drive better and excel better, such as in sports. The downside is that we must always release the testosterone, which is why sports and video games are a popular pastime. Yeah not all…
Some trivia
1. Women do as much "ogling" as men do, but because they have wider peripheral vision, they are not caught, whereas men, because of funnel-shaped vision, we had to turn toward the side of that sexy lady to have a see
2. In general, a man, or any male animal for that matter, can only have fun 5 times to a single woman. So never believe our grandfather’s story on how, once upon a time, powerful they are in bed, and dont put stress on yourself. I dont…
3. Man`s average is only 2.5 minutes, whereas a woman is 13.0 min. The quikie is our natural response, as long long time ago, the men’s role is to protect the family from any wild beast, and doing some fun exposes us to danger. And again, dont believe those grandfather story.. they are supposed to entertain us, not to believe. Are you?
and so, I got to go, its 21:48 already in my lab, have to catch the train, get some sweats, contribute some..while reading more novels. Coming is "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
7 June 2007
2148H
TUMSAT Laboratory
